learning from your littles

Don't you love it when you spend so much time teaching your kids lessons you think don't sink in, only to learn they're listening because they end up teaching you when you least expect it?

On Monday night Jaden and I were on our own for FHE because Steve was in Asia. I was trying to cram too much into our post dinner hours--baking bread, FHE, learning I needed to run to the store for milk in order to make the bread, etc. I had told Jaden our plans so he would be set to go. All was good.

Then he pooped his pants.
For the SECOND time that day.

Call me a mean mom, but he knows better now so the punishment is a cold shower. Not ice cold, and not very long, but just enough time to rinse off. He HATES it--hates showers in general, actually, although he's getting better. We figured it would make a good incentive to NOT poop his pants. For the most part, he's really good, which is why when he had TWO cold showers in one day, I was just done. Done for the day. I put him in jammies and was going to send him straight to bed without FHE and without running to the store.

He was upset and just cuddled up next to me on the couch for a minute. I rubbed his back and tried to get enough mental stamina to finish out the day. He calmed down then looked up at me and said, "Mom, should we have family home evening?"

Maybe the kid is just a master manipulator and didn't want to go to bed (which I'm sure has a great deal to do with it), but I knew I couldn't tell him no. I still had a sour attitude though, so I asked him to pick the song--Book of Mormon Stories, then say the prayer--which was really cute and thoughtful, and give the lesson. He didn't want to give it, but I asked him what he wanted it to be about (because of course I didn't have one planned...). He thought for a minute and said, "Hmm...maybe about going potty?" I almost laughed because that's not exactly a gospel topic, but then I thought, "Sure, this is a great teaching opportunity. Who says all FHE lessons have to be gospel topics?"

So we just talked. No little visuals, no activities. Just the two of us. I asked him questions and he taught me the steps of going potty. We discussed everything--how to stop what you're doing, how to tell Mom, what happens when you start to have an accident, etc. (Maybe this is TMI, but I'm just reliving a really sweet moment, so bear with me. :))

Then the real surprise came in. Thank heavens for the Spirit. I felt like I needed to ask, "Jaden, does Mommy still love you even when she gets upset?" It broke my heart when he answered, "No." So we talked about how Mommy and Daddy ALWAYS love him, even when he disobeys or does things that we need to get upset over. I was so sad he would think I wouldn't love him when I was mad, but I was so grateful for a teaching opportunity where I could clear that up.

AND THEN. We talked about choices and consequences. What a choice is. Choosing whether or not to tell Mom when we need to go to the potty. What a consequence is. The consequences for good and bad potty choices. Hello, total gospel correlation!

Our little thrown together FHE that I almost gave up on having ended up being an almost 10 minute discussion. That my three year old was engaged in. It was such a special moment to me.  I was humbled, my heart was changed, and I had a desire to be a better mom. I've also pondered on this experience and paralleled it to how we teach in the Come Follow Me method now in the church. Of course the best place to use that method is in our homes! We find out what our youth and children need, then facilitate learning and discussions at their level so they can best understand and make changes in their lives.

I get humbled a lot as a mom, but I always end up being grateful for it. Thank heaven for this little boy who teaches me so much. I just love him :).