Last week Steve asked me to rate my overall life satisfaction on a scale from 1-10.
I wondered why he asked me that.
Then I realized.
I've been crabby.
Complaining.
Pitying.
Stressed.
And not fun to be around.
I was caught off guard by that question. I thought about it for a minute.
"Hmm...I'd probably say 8.5"
Why? Because I don't think it's realistic to ever be a 10. Not that I don't think I can ever be that happy, I just believe that there's always room to grow.
So normally I would say a 9, but I just couldn't bring myself to say it.
"Um...8.5"
"Why?"
Why?
I thought about all the things in my life that are keeping me from being totally happy.
A class I'm not doing so well in.
The amount of sleep I'm not getting.
The amount of homework I'm not finishing.
The piles of laundry--clean--but have been sitting in baskets unfolded for over a week.
How much gasoline costs.
The time I can't seem to find to spend at the gym.
How I look different from when I was 18.
I thought about those things for awhile.
A few days later, I was walking to my car after a long day at school.
I looked at one of the mountains.
Once, I stood on top of it.
Suddenly the things in my life that were keeping me from being happy seemed so small.
Insignificant.
Ridiculous, really.
I thought about two of our friends.
A cute young married couple who at the moment were up at the Huntsman Cancer Institute.
Fighting for his life.
We had gone to see them twice over the weekend.
They were happy.
They felt blessed.
They were grateful.
I realized then how I have no reason to not be completely happy.
I have a body.
It may not look how I want it to, but it's healthy.
And I'm beautiful.
I have an amazing husband.
Who loves me so much and works so hard to support me.
And his body is healthy too.
As I looked at the mountain I once climbed, I thought about the hard things I've done in my life.
And the hard things I'm doing now.
And the hard things coming up.
I can do hard things.
But it's one thing to do them.
It's another thing to be happy while you're at it.
To feel blessed because of them.
To be grateful for what you're learning.
To find joy in the journey you're on.
So I'm working on it.
I'm not perfect, and I never will be,
but I'm happy.
In fact, I'd say I'm a 9.
:)
I wondered why he asked me that.
Then I realized.
I've been crabby.
Complaining.
Pitying.
Stressed.
And not fun to be around.
I was caught off guard by that question. I thought about it for a minute.
"Hmm...I'd probably say 8.5"
Why? Because I don't think it's realistic to ever be a 10. Not that I don't think I can ever be that happy, I just believe that there's always room to grow.
So normally I would say a 9, but I just couldn't bring myself to say it.
"Um...8.5"
"Why?"
Why?
I thought about all the things in my life that are keeping me from being totally happy.
A class I'm not doing so well in.
The amount of sleep I'm not getting.
The amount of homework I'm not finishing.
The piles of laundry--clean--but have been sitting in baskets unfolded for over a week.
How much gasoline costs.
The time I can't seem to find to spend at the gym.
How I look different from when I was 18.
I thought about those things for awhile.
A few days later, I was walking to my car after a long day at school.
I looked at one of the mountains.
Once, I stood on top of it.
Suddenly the things in my life that were keeping me from being happy seemed so small.
Insignificant.
Ridiculous, really.
I thought about two of our friends.
A cute young married couple who at the moment were up at the Huntsman Cancer Institute.
Fighting for his life.
We had gone to see them twice over the weekend.
They were happy.
They felt blessed.
They were grateful.
I realized then how I have no reason to not be completely happy.
I have a body.
It may not look how I want it to, but it's healthy.
And I'm beautiful.
I have an amazing husband.
Who loves me so much and works so hard to support me.
And his body is healthy too.
As I looked at the mountain I once climbed, I thought about the hard things I've done in my life.
And the hard things I'm doing now.
And the hard things coming up.
I can do hard things.
But it's one thing to do them.
It's another thing to be happy while you're at it.
To feel blessed because of them.
To be grateful for what you're learning.
To find joy in the journey you're on.
So I'm working on it.
I'm not perfect, and I never will be,
but I'm happy.
In fact, I'd say I'm a 9.
:)
Audrey I love you! Thank you for posting this, i needed it.
ReplyDeleteAmen. You ARE amazing!
ReplyDeleteI like this post!! It's sometimes nice for me also to put things into perspective.
ReplyDeleteAudrey, I love and miss you. I must admit that even my biggest problem (you know the one) feels small compared to your sweet friends. Thanks for putting this up. It made my bronchitis-filled day a little happier. But it did hurt my throat a bit, since it made me cry. :) love you!
ReplyDelete